A Leap of Faith

Over the past few months, I have been having a hard time hearing God. When this happens I feel as if I am without direction.  I feel empty.  It is my own fault, I have not been reading the word as I should.  I have not been sitting in quiet meditation waiting to hear God’s voice.  Over the summer I was caught up in some drama and that is how it started. It was one of those speck in the eye thing. Someone had made judgmental statements and they were trying to push my son into marriage. At first I was reading God’s word and praying about this situation. I knew my son was being manipulated by some really bad people.  I know God was going to open up a situation so he could see the truth and run away.  God did and he did; but I felt I needed to hurry things up.  My attempts caused a great deal of turmoil and in the turmoil, I lost track of what was really important God. I was reading Luke chapter 5, you know where Simon Peter and his partners had spent an unfruitful night fishing. Jesus said go out one more time and put your nets down over there.  Peter said, that is the last place I an experienced fisherman would have chosen, but because you say so I will.  They took the boats out and put the nets down were Jesus said to put them and wella the caught more than the nets could hold. That is how Jesus works, he pulls things from where you would least expect it.  With my son’s situation, the  girlfriend told a terrible lie (any lie is terrible) but she would not own up to the lie. She denied it even after being presented with irrefutable proof that she was lying. It was really a small thing, but he realized that if she would stick to a lie concerning small matters, how much more would she stick to the lie about big matters. So he dumped her. Her family fought it, but he just stood his ground. This was seriously a God thing and I was a fool to not trust God.  I am still struggling to hear God right now and I need to hear because I am at a crossroads, uncertain of what I should do with my life, how can I help provide for the family and serve God as well?  I know that I need to fall into the word. I need to spend time in quietness. I need to listen. God is talking he doesn’t always show us through a boat full of fish. Most of the time, it is small quiet prompting.  Maybe those emails that I thought I had blocked as spam because it is one of those you can get jobs if you pay us money are a clue. No I am not intending on paying money to have a job. but maybe I need to spend some money to promote my work.  Pray with me won’t you? Is financial investment in myself needed? Can I do this for free? I think the answer is no, I think I need to take a big leap of faith and invest in “God’s business” and trust him to provide the income.  After all don’t small business do this all the time? invest in themselves and if they are Christians they are investing in themselves doing the work.  Oh yeah can not forget that step; and trusting God to open up the income?

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